...In Wonderland

Having a Preemie is just a step above having a 3D ultra-sound (at least a 28 week 1Lbs 13 0z preemie). She’s cute, but we can’t hold, cuddle, bathe, or feed our little baby bird. All that’s left is to stare into her little Plexiglas womb and admire, and love her, and once in awhile, reach in through all the circuitry and touch our tiny girl… which lasts about 15 minutes. There’s not much else to do in the NICU at this time, except get the daily updates of how Verity is fairing in her present state.

To be honest, this leaves you feeling, well…like a bad parent. I mean you go down to check on your daughter and you stand and stare. Then you start bothering all the nurses in your path asking questions ten different ways, in part just to hear that your child is doing well and in part because you really have no clue as to what they are talking about in the first place. You then wish that there was an ethical manual of the Do’s and Don’ts of the NICU and when they produce one you realize that you never really had any real intention of reading it.

So what am I to do with my time gazing at my daughter in the quiet, darkened corner if the NICU? Well, tonight Kellee and I decided to be proactive in our star gazing. We dropped Faith off at a friend’s house from our church (on very short notice, so thank you very much Sutton Family for everything) and went down to spend an hour with Verity. Now, this is the first time that Kellee and I have gotten to go into the NICU together since she was released from the hospital. When we got there we got our nightly report and then I handed Kellee Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland and we began to read to our daughter.

At first, I admit it was uncomfortable and a little weird. The nurse on duty was very gracious and gave us our space to spend time with our daughter, but it was still somewhat awkward. By the time we got a couple pages into the book we felt a little more relaxed. It became our little corner… our little room…our little world. I suppose it’s nothing more abnormal than when a parent reads or talks to their unborn child in the womb. We want our daughter to get accustomed to our voice and it’s a little hard to do that in short stints. So an hour here or there of book reading will have to suffice for the time being.

Afterwards, we went and picked up Faith and the lady that was watching her offered up another suggestion that she did with her preemie twin girls; she and her husband tape recorded themselves. They would read stories, scripture, and play music for them. Then they would leave it inside their cribs/incubators for the nurses to play while they were not around. Good thought. Good idea. But until I get a recorder, it’s down the rabbit hole.A Blanket that Nurse Julie made for Verity